I'm a "Dork!"

I am now, officially, in the words of my two oldest children, "a dork."  And, even though it stings a bit to hear that piece of nomenclature drivel out of my kids' mouths, I am kind of okay with it.  I'm sure, there will be a lot more names thrown my way by them in the next ten years.

I've always been close with my children, and they have always appreciated my ability to act their age.  But the school years have hit and they have begun to slowly get consumed by their peers' and the elementary culture's belief that they must "fit in."  You can see it in their faces, especially Danny, that it's confusing.  They act silly at home; pretending to be dinosaurs in the living room.  But when they are waiting with their classmates in the pick-up line in front of their school, they are cracking jokes and sharing secret handshakes.  When it's time to climb in the car, they have a "cool kid" walk, as if they have to show their friends that the only reason they are leaving is because they have to...

I find it humorous now.  But I'm sure, as the years go by, it will become exponentially worse.  Eye rolling, sighs and "whatevers" are in the visible future.

I know we are supposed to tell our kids, "Be yourself."  And that's true.  We don't want our children to hide behind false images, as it could stifle personal growth and the possibilities of their future.  Also, I want my children to have the integrity to stand up for what they believe in. 

But for now, a little while longer, there are times when I definitely do not want them to be themselves.  If kids under the age of 12 were themselves all the time, the rate of alcoholic parents would increase 1200%.  Could you imagine, boys just peeing on trees...in the lobby of the bank?  Or a large group of girls just standing in a circle having a contest to see who could shriek longer and louder?  And the constant need to do impersonations of their favorite anime martial arts characters all day...every day...

Fitting in is a hopeless pursuit, anyways.  Like trying to get a cat to look at itself in the mirror.  We work so hard our entire self-aware life to be a piece of the intricate clockwork of society, only to realize years after its too late that we are just as awkward (if not more) than we were at the beginning.  I remember my school years were filled with deciding what clothes would be acceptable, what activities to participate in that would not get me ridiculed and what kind of accessories could make my car look cooler.  Ultimately, I was a "theatre geek" who drove a Chevy Celebrity and wore cartoon t-shirts under flannel shirts.  Suffice it to say, I never really achieved the "fitting in" status. 

So, perhaps that's why we insist on telling our kids to be themselves.  We are afraid of reliving our own bumbling, awkward, and trivial attempts to fit in vicariously through our children.  And, of course, in the eyes of the young, parents don't get it. So, the kids will continue to attempt to fit in and, ultimately, put themselves into embarrassing situations.

But there is a threshold that must be passed by our kids before we, as parents, should really encourage them to be themselves.  I guess it's when they hit the age when "themselves" isn't annoying.  And that is the day that we become annoying to them.  And we are called "dorks." 

But can a dork recite all of the scrolling text from all of the Star Wars movies?  Or would a dork know that you can sing Emily Dickinson's "Because I Could Not Stop for Death" to the tune of "Gilligan's Island".  (I know you're doing it on your head right now).  Or is a dork someone who can make himself laugh at an elephant fart joke?

...Well, yes...

But a dork to children is just an adult who is being himself.