Thursday, March 22, 2012

Say, What?

One of the beautiful things about being a parent is the opportunity to construct sentences you would otherwise never be able to say...

"Hey!  If you want to watch Veggietales, get the disc...Don't try to shove a cucumber into the DVD player!"

"Yes, you're right.  A T-Rex could probably beat Spiderman in a fight..unless he teamed up with the Hulk...Wait!  Are we talking 'prison rules'?"

"The dog does NOT need a mustache..."

"Get out of the washing machine!"

"Look what's for breakfast! Green eggs and Ham!

"Who put Mater in the toilet?"

"Fine!  Just go ahead and try to fit in between the banister rails.  But don't get mad when I have to
grease your head up to get it out!"

"Can you wait a second?  I can't change your diaper while frying bacon...You'll get burned!"

"I don't know why sometimes I cry while drinking my 'special' coffee in the morning..."

"Yeah, man, I would like to come out with you guys tonight to see the Violent Femmes, but I just warmed up some Spongebob shaped Chef Boyardi and getting ready to snuggle up n the counch to the latest Pixar DVD...OOOH! Great Idea! Why don't you come over here instead?"

"What in the hell is Totoro?"

"What are you doing?  You can't eat frozen juice concentrate from the can with a spoon!..."  (Note:  This is sentence was actually spoken to my son using my wife as a proxy while she was pregnant.)

"I don't care if she's my daughter and I don't care how much shes set her heart on it, I am her father and I am NOT dressing up like a kitty cat for Halloween...Fine!  But I'm not wearing the tights!...What?  Tights, too?...Okay, fine!"

"I guess daddy IS as pretty as a princess..."

"Transformers are NOT going to blow up your school....Now, go back to sleep..."

"I think the 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' movies are the best films that have come out in the last few years."

"Well, babies don't start out eating baby food.  They start by drinking milk...from the mommy...Well...You know how cows feed the calves?....Yes, that's right with their 'sprayers'...."







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